Happy and Kind Pandas Are Politely Cleaning My Mirrors

Chock-Full of Bouncy Fun!

Always looking to explore new ground and take on the critics, legendary supergroup Situation Tranquil is set to release an album of children's music.

"Making children's music albums for the preschool to 6th grade set is easy as ABC. The challenge comes in coming up with stuff to please children, young-at-heart grownups, and everyone else, including other people," said Dr. Yancey B. Trash, band co-founder, keyboardist, and resident Don Quixote.

The album, tentatively titled "Herpetology Is Not What It Sounds Like It Is" by Situation Tranquil & Friends, is filled with feel-good songs with quality storytelling and a tight sound. The tunes are clever and appealing, making the most of kids' imaginations; the words catchy and irrepressible just begin to describe the majestic string-band music uncorked by this veteran quintet of gifted vocalinstrumentalists and songsmiths whose idea of a rollicking good time runs from "German Ho'down (House of One-Two-Threes)" through "Juicy Black Lady" to "Deadbeat Dads Can't Dance." ST's active musical imagination is central to their charm, their music boasting a heavy rock base with bluegrass, polka, Tex-Mex, jazz, blues and goth colorants.

"We want to entertain children, but also teach them fundamentals and enlighten them in a broader sense," says Trash, sweeping his long blonde hair out of his eyes. "Plus kids should not be denied their God-given need to rock!"

Longtime bassist and ice-lover KF Nibla is philosophical about the band's new musical venture. "Creating zappy new kids' music is risky business. It's like trying to predict the weather: No matter how many Doppler radars, dew-point ratings or Ouija boards you have in your arsenal, your Category 5 hurricane can just as easily fizzle out into a plain, old rainstorm. But we're up for the challenge. It's no secret we're genius."

The album's musical guests will include Trent Reznor, New Order's Peter Hook and Bernard Sumner, Aretha Franklin, Christina Aguilera, Ringo Starr and Gang of Four, who ironically appear on the upbeat "That Group of Communist Party Leaders in the People's Republic of China -- Mao's Widow Jiang Qing and Three of Her Close Associates, Zhang Chunqiao, Yao Wenyuan, and Wang Hongwen -- Who Were Arrested and Removed From their Positions in 1976, Following the Death of Mao Zedong, and Were Blamed for the Events of the Cultural Revolution!"

Drummer Markus K. Elman sums it up. "Our fans - many of them hipster parents - know that if we can produce such epicly cool music for adults, we can also produce epicly cool music for kids. Is it 'epicly or 'epically'? Is that even a word?"

This December, hipster parents - or friends of hipster parents - unhitch the iPods to scour CD racks for these zany, inspiring, clever, smart tunes for the smallest ears in the family.

Good luck.