The Unveiling

Subscriptions skyrocketed today as the news broke that Heidi Edelweiss-Trash, former wife of ST superstar legend Dr. Hunter Trash, has unexpectedly agreed to pose for both Playboy and Penthouse.

Long sought after by both magazines, the German beauty will reportedly be paid $3 million by each publication to pose in the nude. "It is time I do something for me," said Edelweiss-Trash in a written statement. "The breakup of my marriage has been very much sehr difficult fur mich, and I must now focus on meine self and meine career. This is more geld than journalism, and I like dollar bills, hundred dollar bills."

Heidi, as she is known simply by legions of ST faithful, will appear in Playboy's December issue, followed by the January issue of Penthouse. Playboy's Hugh Hefner was wryly philosophical, saying, "We got her first."

"Why bother with Hef's rag? The next month you know you'll be seeing a LOT more of her in our pages," responded Penthouse publisher Bob Guccione, with a wink.

Reached for comment in the Maldives, where he is currently working on a crossover music project with current fiance Jessica Simpson, Dr. Trash said, "Who?" After a moment's reflection, he added, "Oh yeah... I remember her... she's hot! Dandy bedroom-baseball catcher, that little St. Pauli girl!"